How i screwed up my interview… for good..

 

What do you do when you have to attend a job interview for a job that you don’t want? I had to put up with a situation of this kind a week ago- it was on Friday the 13th.

I should explain why exactly I didn’t want the job. I already had an offer from company T. And according to my college rules I can have only 2 offers. Company M was one which I was not so keen to join and there were better companies coming in the future. So, I couldn’t be in a situation wherein I foolishly picked a company and then sit and watch others grab offers from my dream company. I had to get myself out of company M’s hole.

I will now produce my experience on those two memorable days of my life. Read on.

Thursday, 12^th April:

People are excited about M. There is a rumour that students from Electronics domain could be put into RnD. I enter the already full seminar hall at 9:05am but manage to get a seat very near to G, the girl who unknowingly has been intruding my dreams in the last few days. The PPT (pre-placement talk) begins at 9:10. Mr.P, one of the directors of M is present. He talks about M, what they do, how we fit into M, social life at M etc etc. The remuneration is fixed at 3.2 lacs per annum. The PPT ends at 9:45. We are all very excited after what we thought was the best PPT we had ever attended.

The aptitude test is scheduled to begin at 10. At 9:58, I decide to take up the test. The test goes on for an hour. After answering 94 tough questions in 60 mins I am mentally taxed. I think my performance is good enough. The results will be announced at 3:30. I go off to a friend’s place.

At 3:30, I come back to college. I see that I am one among the 93 picked for the GD round. I go home, log into M’s website and make a complete study of the company. At 9pm, I decide that I am not made for M. In the PPT, Mr.P clarified that RnD is reserved only for the PhD nerds. I decide there’s no scope for me in M.

The solution out of this is simple- Underperformance. I go to sleep thinking about G.

Friday, 13^th April:

I have been asked to be present at the seminar hall at 8:30. but I reach there at 9. I keep saying to myself- you don’t need this job. I am more relaxed than everybody else in the hall. The batches for the group discussion are announced. Mine’s the last batch. I wish everyone in my batch- good luck. Everyone knows that I will be there only to make up the numbers.

We are ushered into the GD room. We are asked to introduce ourselves to the judges. The topic is given. Technology- Boon or bane? I think it’s a silly topic for a job interview. I keep repeating to myself- Don’t speak a word. Don’t speak. The GD begins. People are speaking well. After 9 minutes of the 10 minute GD, I am the only one who hasn’t spoken yet. Everyone else has spoken at least thrice. 30 seconds remain. I cant control my urge to speak. I put in a point about use of technology in national security- spy satellites, surveillance aircrafts, world war technologies, terrorism etc all make into my talk. The GD ends.

I am damn sure I will be the only one rejected in my group. I am very happy with my performance. I pack all my belongings. At 10:30, the person from M comes in and begins to call out names that have been selected. There are cheers from different parts of the hall as the names are called out. The names are in alphabetical order and I have to wait for ‘T’. The person reads out only one name starting with ‘T’. That’s my name! I can’t believe it. I feel myself being stabbed to death as my friends mockingly congratulate me.

Its 1 pm now. People are being called for the interview in alphabetical order. Everyone else in the hall is studying C, C++ etc. I am the only one playing games on my phone. At 3pm, my name still hasn’t been called. I have now begun planning my course of action in the interview. I can’t think. Don’t know why. At 5pm, I am still waiting for my turn. My friends decide to give me a course on screwing-up-an-interview. I am only half listening. At 5:35pm, my name is called.

After waiting for 5 mins outside the interview cubicle, I am welcomed by the HR person. She is a not-so-nice looking lady with a headmistress-like-spectacles adorning her triangular face. I tell myself again- I don’t want this job. This is how the interview went.

Me: good evening ma’am.

She: good evening, I am Ms.D.

Me: I am Thejas.

She: (asks me about myself, my hobbies, my job as the placement co-ordinator etc)

Me: (I answer every question)

She: What’s the difference between Astronomy and Astrology? Please tell me. I always get confused with the two of them.

Me: (I laugh. And explain the difference) (She looks sternly at me when I laugh. I am delighted)

She: What do you know about our company?

Me: I didn’t know much about it before yesterday’s ppt. Whatever I know is from the ppt. Can I say them?

She: Ok. Go on. But its surprising that you didn’t know much about M.

Me: (I tell a few points from the research I had made last night. I mix up some financial statistics)

She: I think you were wrong with your statistics:

Me: I have never been good with numbers. (She stares at me)

She: Ok. Let me ask you some questions from your subjects. Tell me all the subjects that you have studied.

Me: (I list about 15. She takes interest in Anolog communication)

She: (Asks me a couple of question from AC)

Me: I don’t remember ma’am. (to every question)

She: You don’t remember? When did you study AC?

Me: hmmm ma’am. Last semester.

She: You have forgotten last semester’s subject? (There’s contempt in the question)

Me: Yes ma’am. I can’t recollect the answers to your questions.

She: Is there any subject from which you still remember anything?

Me: I think I remember things from C, ma’am. Though I studied it in 1^st sem, I still remember things from it. (I make the statement a little emphatic)

She: Good. (Asks me 4 simple questions)

Me: (they were so simple- I couldn’t say ‘I don’t know’. Answered them all)

She: Write a program to……

Me: (I write it flawlessly) (looking at her face, I begin to think I should have said ‘sorry ma’am I don’t know the logic’)

She: What language is used to program a mobile phone?

Me: Honestly, I don’t know ma’am. But let me make a guess. I think its JAVA.

She: You want to guess? Haven’t you ever tried to find out what language your phone is programmed in?

Me: No ma’am. I haven’t. (If I was in her chair, I would have kicked out any person if he had answered this question the way I did.)

She: Ok. Write a program to show inheritance in C++.

Me: Sorry ma’am. I don’t know C++

She: You have written yourself in your profile that you are skilled in C++

Me: (I give her a smile) Ma’am, I wrote it because everyone else had written it. (there you go. I had just driven the final nail into my coffin)

She: (Extremely angry) That’s ridiculous. Blah blah blah.

Me: I am sorry ma’am.

She: (asks me some questions from Digital communication)

Me: I am sorry ma’am. I didn’t come prepared for DC.

She: Man, you seem to know nothing.

Me: Yes ma’am. I wasn’t prepared for this interview.

She: How do you rate your performance in this interview?

Me: 1 out of 10. I am really sorry ma’am. I don’t deserve to be in M.

She: (I guess she she realized my game) What other offer letter have you got?

Me: I have one from company ‘T’ ma’am.

She: Haah. Ok. It was nice meeting you, Thejas. Thanks for coming. (Now, what did she mean?)

Me: Thank you ma’am.

I come out. You might think it was easy to be there pretending not to know anything. It wasn’t. I am sweating very badly. I realize it only after I come out. I enter the seminar hall. My friends are waiting to hear what I did inside. I tell them. They enjoy every bit of the story.

At 7:10pm, the officer comes out with the final list of selected names. Everyone in the hall is tense. I am too. As the names are read in alphabetical order, my tension begins to grow. There are loud cheers coming from different parts of the hall. My future lied in the hands of Ms. D. The list came to ‘S’. I close my eyes. This time there’s no name from ‘T’. I open my eyes- totally relieved. Congratulatory messages fly towards me from everywhere. I am even given ‘mini-bumps’. People ask me for treat. LOL.

What a victory it was! I shouldn’t have played with my career like this. I could even have taken away a job from someone deserving. But as I sit back and think about my tryst with Ms.D, I think its one meeting I will never forget in my life. Thank you for reading so far. I will now go and dream a little about G.

ps: Ms.D, if you are reading this, please excuse me. I m really sorry.